Therapy for borderline personality disorder

Feeling everything at full volume isn't a character flaw. It's a nervous system that learned to survive. Therapy can help it settle.

Intense emotions, relationships that swing between closeness and rupture, a sense of self that shifts depending on who's in the room: this is treatable. BPD is one of the most misunderstood diagnoses, and one of the most responsive to good therapy.

You don't need a formal diagnosis to work on this. Many people come in with "borderline traits," or a label they were handed years ago and never got to unpack, or simply a pattern they're tired of: feeling too much, too fast, and then being left alone with the aftermath.

You might recognize:

Emotions that arrive fast, hit hard, and take hours to settle
A fear of being left that shapes what you say and don't say
Relationships that go from all-in to unbearable, and back
A sense of who you are that changes with the room
Impulses that bring relief now and regret later
An emptiness that no amount of company fills
Shame about being "too much," and hiding it well

Where it comes from

Early environments where feelings were dismissed, punished, or unpredictable
Caregivers who were sometimes there and sometimes gone
Trauma that taught the body to stay braced
A naturally sensitive temperament in a world that asked you to be less
Family and cultural rules about which emotions were allowed

BPD isn't a life sentence. It's a set of learned responses — and what was learned can be relearned.

How therapy helps.

Skills first, then the story

We start with DBT-informed skills you can use this week: noticing an emotion before it peaks, riding out distress without acting on it, and asking for what you need without blowing up the relationship to get it. Once the days feel more manageable, we go deeper into where the patterns came from and what they were protecting.

A relationship you can count on

For many people with BPD, the therapy relationship is the first one that stays steady through the hard parts. We'll be consistent, honest with you, and willing to repair when something goes wrong between us. That experience, repeated, is a large part of how the work happens.

When trauma is part of the picture

Borderline traits often grow out of early trauma. When that's the case, EMDR with Tina can help the body let go of what it's been bracing against, so the skills have less to fight.

Start Your Therapy Journey

Sliding scale spots are currently open with Laila Siddiqui, MHC-I for clients located in New York — you choose what you can pay, from $30 to $80 per session. See fees & insurance.

If you're in crisis or thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or go to your nearest emergency room. Our practice is outpatient and isn't set up for emergencies, but we'll help you find the right level of care.

Who you'll work with.

Laila Siddiqui, MHC-I

Mental Health Counselor with a particular interest in BPD. Works with teens and young adults in New York, under the clinical supervision of Tina Liu, LMHC-D. Sliding scale spots available.

About Laila →

Tina Liu, LMHC-D

Founder & psychotherapist. EMDR-trained, culturally attuned, licensed in New York & Florida.

About Tina →

Our clinical team is growing — new therapists joining soon.

Not sure where to start? Send us a note and we'll figure it out together.

BPD therapy — common questions

Do I need a BPD diagnosis to start therapy?

No. Many people come in with borderline traits, a diagnosis they were given years ago and never got to unpack, or simply a pattern of intense emotions and unstable relationships they want to change. We work with what's actually happening in your life, not just the label.

Is this DBT?

Our work is DBT-informed rather than a full DBT program. We teach and practice the core skills — emotion regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness — inside individual therapy, alongside deeper work on where the patterns came from. If you need a comprehensive DBT program with a skills group and phone coaching, we'll help you find one.

Do you see teenagers and young adults for BPD?

Yes. Emotional intensity, self-image that shifts by the day, and stormy relationships often show up first in the teen years and early twenties, and early support makes a real difference. Laila Siddiqui, MHC-I, our Mental Health Counselor, works with teens and young adults in New York with a particular interest in BPD, under the clinical supervision of Tina Liu, LMHC-D. Sliding scale spots are available.